Hey there princess, I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I miss you so so so so much. Last night was a hard night. Mummy spent most of the night crying. It is so not fair that you are not here with us.

I remember out last new yr so well. You wore you Barbie Jammies and we were all at grandmas. You were stitting in mummys lap watching the ball drop. I couldnt believe that you stayed awake until 12. I remember giving you a kiss and saying this is going to be our yr. I so thought it would be. I so thought we would get to Spain and the DHA EE would help you in some way. Never once did I think it would go the other way. Never did I think that 1 week later you would become an angel.

I still do not understand why?? Why it all happened and I still question myself all the time. I often wonder how I could not have known you were dying. Did I and i just didnt want to see it? Did you go the way you did to protect mummy? I wish I knew. I just hope you were not sacred. I cant believe that I didnt hold you when you took your last breathe. I so wish I knew. I so wish this wasnt my life, my reality. It seems to be getting harder and harder as the days go by. It is harder to look at your pictures, to get up everyday and act normal. I miss you so so so so so much and I can not wait till I see you again. I hope that you will run and jump in to mummys arms and I will give you a great big kiss.

Please watch over mummy and Jaxon and know that I will never forget about you and Jaxon will know all about his amazing big sister. He will know just how special you are.

I love you sweet pea so so so so much.

sending you a million hugs and kissed (((((XXXXX)))))))))